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HulkHogan

Hulk Hogan announces JAM?

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BREAKING: Player Hulk Hogan has recently announced that he will now be selling Jam along with Spaghetti. We have heared reports that this jam is like no other, and we mean no other. The taste is said to be out of this world and that it will blow your brains out. And don't even get us started on the texture, do you like sucking on pure joy and happiness? We would really support if you bought this jam for the low low cost of only 50000$ per jar, if you are willing to buy just message Hulk Hogan and he'll sell you as many as your little soul can handle. Hulk himself recommends to put the entire jar of his extra jiggly jam onto his hot, hot spaghetti. It will be one of the best decisions you will make in your life, and you can trust me on that one. Only the best things can come from combining the two things best known to man other than your moms tits trust me you will really not believe that these two things together will be a forever life changing experience. Right now Hogan is holding a sale buy one jar of jam and get 14 spaghetti noodles for your free trial of heaven.

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Hulk Hogan's spaghetti has had all of its factories closed after one was discovered to be completely covered in at least 2 month old visible mold. Authorities learned about the mold after a 2 year old had been seen slurping up the noodles covered in the green guck after being rushed to the hospital, the kid was found to be 100% okay other than the major brain damage he suffered. Hulk Hogan has issued warnings on all packages that make him 0% responsible for what happened and he will not be paying back any of the medical costs the child suffered. 

 

"What that child did was his own action and he will face the consequences brother. If he was a Hulkamaniac I would pay his bills but their is no picture of him in a hulk hogan shirt or pose. He gets no money that free loading scum"

 

Hogan has faced backlash from the public and many are saying what he said was wrong and that he should pay up.

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Hulk Hogan's spaghetti is going to run wild on the world once again! After investigations it was found out that nothing is actually wrong with any of Hulk Hogan's products. The child is not fine however it was all caused due to poor parenting by the father @Matt_O. Everything is scheduled to re-open on october 1st and Hogan himself is going to be there. All Hogan products will be 50% off if your pythons are over 15 inches, anything under 15 they are 50% more expensive. 

 

Hogan is also going to reveal a brand new product coming to his long line of purchasable items on the day of the re opening. It will be able to be bought on the first day, we've heard rumors that its price varies between 79.99 and 119.99 CAD. There have been multiple predictions on what it is going to be but nobody is sure yet. Anyone who can correctly guess what it is will be getting 1 free one. Place your predictions.

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1 hour ago, HulkHogan said:

There have been multiple predictions on what it is going to be but nobody is sure yet. Anyone who can correctly guess what it is will be getting 1 free one. Place your predictions

a deluxe jam?

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Horrible news everyone, It seems as if Hulk Hogan has completely forgot about what his brand new product will be. Because of this constant pressure from the media trying to figure it out Hulk has decided that he will be releasing a whole variety of products. Here they all are with a short description on everyone of them.

 

HULK HOGAN BLOW UP DOLL

Have you ever wanted to wrestle your favourite spaghetti maker?!?! WELL NOW YOU CAN!!!! The Hogan blow up doll is a brand new product that is great for children of all ages. Just blow, blow, blow until hes ready to play with. Once he's nice and hard with air you two can wrestle!

 

HULK HOGAN VIDEO GAME

We've heard your complaints. "Waaaa I wanna be Hunky like the Hulkster" "Waaaa my pythons aren't 27 inches like Hogans".

Now you CAN be Hogan! With this revolutionary new video game you will get to finally experience the life of the worlds hottest man (voted by me). 80% Of gameplay takes place in the gym while 15% is sleeping and 3% is drinking water. We'll let ya guess the other 2 percent. ;)

 

THE HULK HOGAN COSTUME

If playing a video game about Hulk Hogan inst enough then using this you can actually be Hogan. With the hair, bandana, rip-able shirt, an extra rip-able shirt and much more you can be everyone's favourite wrestler. The only requirement about purchasing this is that you must have sex with my wife because she is old and wrinkly brother.

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