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Molholt last won the day on January 3

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  1. Just announced today for our third season starting next week, all users can create two wrestlers if they want (only one task/affiliate claim needed to update both) and that all new wrestlers start with 400 TPE! Great time to join in. Portal coming Soon™
  2. Simulation Wrestling Alliance The Simulation Wrestling Alliance (SWA) is a laid-back sim league focusing on professional wrestling. You're able to create the wrestler of your dreams, determine their appearance, entrance, move-set and more - all while upgrading your attributes to your liking and competing for championships! We have weekly shows that feature seven match cards with live commentary, with pay-per-view (or premium live events, if you prefer) cards every five weeks. We stream live to Twitch every Wednesday and you can also find a playlist with our full backlog of episodes on YouTube. We've been running the SWA since March of 2021. Wrestler creation, show announcement and SWA specific point tasks are handled on the Simulation Basketball Association's forum. Our updating is currently handled via Discord. We strive to be as accessible to all as possible, so the SWA offers only one point task per week - worth 10 points to all. We accept affiliate claims from any league that has a similar task, including the EFL! Whether you're a wrestling fan or not, the SWA is easy to participate in and a ton of fun. If you're ready to kick off your professional wrestling career - join today or come check out a live show and see what it is all about! You can compete for one of our two singles championships or our tag-team championships alongside a roster of over 50 user-created superstars!
  3. Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day. I've got a wonderful feeling - I'll get carryover TPE today! That's because it's biography time and let me tell you, nothing makes me happier than cranking one of these bad boys right out of my wrists and mind. Those are the main two things I use, well, I guess maybe fingers are more useful than wrists? Eh, who knows, does it even matter in the grand scheme of things? Probably not, that's what I say. What I also say is that Mowanabe Bad is retired. Done. Hangin' 'em up. Taking his ball and going home. All of those old phrases and sayings and well, cliches. They're all true though, in this case - and they come from a place of truth too anyway, as most things do. Mowanabe Bad is retired, what a statement. You know, if someone of his positional stature, historically (as in, the all-time perspective) retired today, at say, a position such as quarterback or running back, maybe wide receiver and probably linebacker, but maybe not so much the other positions - I think it would be a big deal. There would be parties, perhaps parades, celebrations and congratulations. But what happens when a kicker retires? Nothing. Not a sound is made, no parades, no alarms go off. And, frankly - that makes a bit of sense, right? Who am I but a kicker? Well, I'm the best damn kicker that ever existed, that's who. I've got the best damn career that any leg swinger (does anyone else say this, probably not, I just came up with it - I haven't run it by the Elite Football League Ball Kicking Community yet, though) has ever had. My career started out, I believe, at the University of Southern California. I believe Wally was my Athletic Director and as I recall - we were pretty damn good. Trouble is, it's been a long time since that happened and I don't have the best recollection of it anymore. There isn't the best record keeping around here - someone needs to be keeping track of this stuff, writing it down and keeping a log book of all of the relevant stuff. I couldn't do it myself - I just swing my leg (because I'm a leg swinger, remember). So, I was at USC (that's what us insiders called the University of Southern California) and I think we won a national championship? Yeah, let's say that I did. So I did that, pretty cool stuff as I recall (I don't). Then came the draft, a big moment in the life of most players - where you'll spend the start of your career, in theory. I didn't have a choice, but it was still fun to find out. I ended up going to the San Antonion Wolfpack, who, get this, traded away their kicker so that they could bring me in. Honestly, that's how good I was even as a rookie, not to toot my own horn too much (but also, to toot my own horn because it's my damn biography). So I was a member of the wolfpack, a wolf, if you will - and I started swinging the 'ole leg and the ball started going into the uprights (that's those big yellow posts at the end of the field on both sides) and we started winning some games (largely because of my contributions). While a member of the Wolfpack I was twice named the best kicker in the league, the aforementioned Bryce Larkin Kicker of the Year Award (and by aforementioned I mean if you read the retirement announcement first, you see I wrote these close together). That felt pretty good to have that happen, to be recognized for my stellar work as a leg swinger (aka kicker) as a member of the pack of wolves (wolfpack, just being cheeky). When my contract was up, either my first or second, I can't really recall - I decided to hit free agency. My time in San Antonio was mostly fine, I suppose, but, well. Let's just say I had some personal differences and decided to take my talents elsewhere. So, as I am the Lebron James of kicking (Lebron is one of the best of all-time at his thing, that other sport) I decided to emulate him and "take my talents to South Beach" which is what LeBron did. He went to Miami and I did the same, joining the Miami Neptune. As a member of the Miami Neptune I was awarded three more Bryce Larking Kicker of the Year awards - a true honor, setting up five of these for my career and ending my career with one in my last season (this most recent season). And then I unceremoniously retired. What is next for me? Well, probably nothing. I'm done, no turning back from that. No more games, no more existence. It's been a ride. I deserve to be a first ballot Hall of Famer. So, we'll see if the league comes through for that.
  4. I, Mowanabe Bad, kicker in the Elite Football League, am announcing my retirement from my career in the league and from my career as a kicker in the league, effective immediately. In fact, it's effective retroactively, because I've been retired for a fair bit now - closer to the immediate end of the season. It's kinda wild how cruel time can be. I had a damn fine season this year, so good, in fact, that the Elite Football League Award Voting Committee, or the EFLAVC (which is not an acronym that I believe they go by or promote or utilize) named me as the best kicker in the league. The Bryce Larkin Award for Kicker of the Year. It can go up on my shelf, next to the four other ones I've already won. If these things were rings I'd have one for each finger on one of my hands - not a bad haul, I'd say. But they aren't rings. And I don't have anything left in the tank, or the leg, as it were. For even though I had one of the best seasons of my career - the reviews were in. I was washed. No more talent, everything dried up. It happens so damn fast, like, the second the season ends you just suck, you know? So what happens is you take the only option that you have, really, you take the only power that you have left in this simulated football universe (yeah, I'm onto that as well) and you push a button. A button that ends it all for your playing days. It happens so damn fast, in an instant. What's worse? No one even notices. So what do you do? Well, you do this. You announce it. You write it out. You post it. And what does that get you? Nothing. No one even notices, no one even cares. That's how it goes. It's a business. In one end and out the other with none the wiser. I made a lot of field goals in my career - the most all-time, in fact. And what did it get me? A lonely retirement.
  5. Molholt


    Flip that team order lol
  6. Molholt


    HUGE missed opportunity with this title.
  7. a 39 second play? lololol anyway give miami box
  8. Very much enjoyed this presentation style. Also, 61 a week from Miami would be fine with my field goal kicking self.
  9. From the notes of Mikey 2 Dope: I'm told that I need to put pen to paper and jot down my biography, really run through things while they are fresh. It'll help cement my legacy in the Elite Football League is what they say, what they tell you. Will it really, I believe, is the correct response. I see the rest of these things, I've noticed, trust me. No one reads them. No one pays attention. No one cares. And, frankly, why should they? Why should they care about the career of others? We're all here for ourselves. We pretend not to be, to care about team and community, to care about others' successes - but that's not true, is it? No, it isn't. At the end of the day, when it is all said and done - which it is, for me, you know - no one will pay attention. No one will care. No one will miss Mikey 2 Dope or probably even remember him. But that's how it goes, and that's the way it always will go. How do I know that, even at this juncture, you ask? Well, let me tell you. I'm, Mikey 2 Dope - and I don't remember my own story. So I know that you won't either. That's right. My career has just finished, and if you asked me to tell you where I played, what I accomplished, when it happened and more - I couldn't tell you. They say you should do this while it's fresh on your mind, but here's the thing they don't tell you - you should do that every single damn day, or at least every season - because who has the capacity to recall this shit? Not me, that's for sure. Here's what I do know. I played at the University of Southern California, and if I recall, I think we were pretty good. I played with my brother, Violent E, on defense. Juggalo Beo and Juggalo Nano were on that defensive squad with us, solid players for sure. On offense I know that we had Clap Trap at running back, Handsome Jack at quarterback and Antonio Gonzalez at tight end. Fun squad we had. Did we win any championships? Well, honestly it has been so long - this is one of those details that has faded from memories, as these things do. What I can tell you though is that we eliminated Jackie Bands from the playoffs at least once and I still feel good about that (did you know I later teamed up with Jackie near the end of his career? I did, I remembered that tidbit just now, that's how those things go). Anyway, I was drafted to the Memphis Mambas along with about fifty other players in the same draft. I believe we had Vince Carswell too and that hammer guy at receiver. We grabbed my buddy Antonio Gonzalez as well, so we got to stay together. My first cornerback pairing was with the great Vivian Allison, a real winner that one. We worked well together. I think we won a title while I was in Memphis, pretty cool stuff - that team was pretty solid all-around, and we competed most years. Later in my career I decided to leave Memphis in free agency, the team went in a new direction and our general manager stepped away and so I did as well. I don't know if that was the right decision or not. I think I went to Toronto next to team up with that running back, Carson - that dude can carry the ball, let me tell you. I may have played somewhere else in-between those stints, but like I told you, this memory thing is tough to do. So, Jackie Bands ended up coming to Toronto with me at some point. Look, we were both washed, but, we still resolved our differences and teamed up. That's what you do. It didn't go well, but we still did it. Later on I went to Denver to try to win a title, which we didn't do, but we had a great season. Of course, by we, I mean the rest of the team and not me - I was bad. Age comes for you fast, and speaking of fast - you become slow. Slow is bad in this league, if you've been living under a rock. So, that hurt me quite a bit, the aging step I had. But, now that I'm on the other side of it, I can look back and say that I had some fun in a couple of games. Specifically when I had four interceptions in a game and then more specifically when I had five in a game. I mean, at some point you just stop trying to throw the ball, right? I would've. It was too fucking easy. That was my best day in the EFL, for sure. It can't be topped, probably won't ever be. Because this ends my time here, and in some way, ends my existence. As I fade from the EFL's memory, so to I fade from my life, my essence. It's like I only existed to be here and now that I'm not, I'm free. I'm free.
  10. I guess we are finally here. They say that time comes for us all, and they aren't lying - it came for me in the night without warning. One season I was competing for the league lead in interceptions, setting records for interceptions in a game, making a run at the career interception mark - and the next season I was almost completely irrelevant. With lots of time left and the career record in sight, I fell off of a cliff. It was, how to put this, not fun. I still buckled down and did what I could to fight off the effects of my age and deteriorating skill, but it's nigh impossible. So, that's how it went for a few years and then, that dark mistress came for me again. One season I'm making a run at a title, trying to win a championship - the kind of thing I used to do back in my youth, really just going for it. Then, the next thing I know, I'm retired. Not with an announcement, not with any decision making on my part - it was decided for me. "You're not good enough anymore." "The league has outgrown you." "You're old and washed." Well, tell me how you really feel Elite Football League, please, it only hurts a little. So here I am, penning this announcement that I didn't have a choice in making. Making this statement with a smile and a wave, but it's not really the one I want to be making. I want to be saying, "I'll see ya next year, I'll be back better than ever." But, those times are gone now aren't they? They went by in a flash, in but a glimpse. One moment you're at the top, the next you're at the top of the trash heap. Thus, my time in the EFL has come to a close. An end. A fitting one - cast aside and disregarded, fading quickly from memory. But a blip on the radar. So goes the story of Mikey 2 Dope, an unassuming cornerback with no real aspirations or goals - who turned into a damn fine player with a shot at some real legacy defining records. I set the single game interception record - twice. I couldn't reach the career marks. I couldn't win any awards. But I still feel a made an impact, however small. And now, I will rest.
  11. Perfect season extends to the playoffs
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