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About dogwoodmaple


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  1. +3 Question of the Week +3 Presser
  2. 1. Bruce Banner and Obadiah Stone, no doubt. 2. DL for Banner and QB for Stone. I think that fits their skillsets. 3. I'd sign with my original team - Athens! Gotta stay home. 4. I'd say the teams I hate the most are whoever we're playing that week. 5. Athens Avengers, easy. Might be some copyright issues there, but we'll cross that bridge later. 6. Absolutely. Bring me all the championship trophies I can get my hands on. 7. Probably super strength...manhandling offensive linemen and moving them out of the way would lead to a ton of sacks. 8. ATLANTA! My wonderful hometown. 9. Iron Man, most definitely. 10. Hero. I'm not sure I'd make a good villain. 11. Numbers and orbitingdeath. We'd make a great trio 12. MARVELLLLLLl
  3. Martin Isaac, no doubt. Stats, awards, you name it and they'll get it. Great player
  4. EFL ultimate season pass https://i.imgur.com/0nfwTjc.png
  5. 1. I felt alright. Definitely getting used to my new home. 2. Gotta go with Carswell so far. 3. It's hard to say because it's so early in the season. I bet we'll look back at the end of the year and be shocked at some of the Week 1 outcomes. 4. We'll go with the Miami and San Francisco. Both playing great ball right now. 5. I think it'll be someone who hasn't made a lot of noise right now....going to see someone come out of nowhere and really heat up down the stretch. 6. Fourside. Volume, stats, everything you'd want for that award. 7. I watch as much film as I can and then get a full night's rest. Gotta be ready for the game! 8. I don't. Just depends on what mood I'm in that particular day. 9. Me! Despite being a rookie, I've always felt that the QB has to take charge. 10. I always eat Waffle House before a game. 11. All about the Waffle House, baby! 12. I go all out because that's the best way to get ready.
  6. What's one thing you think EFL does better than any other sim league?
  7. Shortly after practice on Friday, Dogwood Maple was walking to his car when he was very clearly reminded that he was a rookie. His normally black Toyota Corolla was now black and white, thanks to soap suds that had started to pour through the door cracks and windows. When he opened the driver's side door, things got much worse. "So I see from a distance that there's something on my car, but it wasn't until I got closer did I realize that they filled that thing up with soap. That was bad enough, but when I opened the front door, a thick wave of wet popcorn came avalanching out of my car. In the backseat, I found about a million packing peanuts, and the glove box and center console were filled with Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Don't get me wrong, that's clearly the best cereal, but I'm not a fan of it in my car," said Maple. To make matters worse, Maple noticed an aroma coming from the trunk. He knew something was fishy. "I initially didn't smell it because the soap and popcorn were just overpowering, but once I walked around the back of the car, I definitely got a whiff. It smelled like somebody put a dozen dead fish in my trunk. And why don't you guess what I found in there? You got it. 12 dead fish. At least they were sitting on newspaper," Maple laughed. Luckily, Maple took it all in stride. "I just thought it was the veterans giving me a hard time and messing with my car. I told them that my signing bonus just hit my bank so I was planning on getting rid of that Corolla anyways, so I didn't get too upset. I knew that I was a prime target for the veterans to mess with, so it is what it is. But that was just the start..." When Maple found the dead fish that had been sitting in his hot car all day, all five of his offensive linemen jumped out from hiding places and surprised him. Their response was surprising. "They just kept telling me that there was a gift inside one of the fish. I thought they were joking. But they were insistent. They just kept saying to find the gift and to drive home," Maple said. So Maple, a true glutton for punishment, started tearing through the fish with his bare hands, convinced that they were continuing to mess with him. After nine fish, he had found nothing. He was about to give up, when the 10th fish bore a present. A small key. It looked like a car key, but Maple didn't recognize it. He kept his word and got inside the soap-popcorn-Cinnamon Toast Crunch-fish filled car and started the journey home. By the time he made it to his house, his clothes were ruined, he was soaking wet, and he smelled awful. But waiting for him in his driveway was something that made it all better. Maple parked his car, raced inside and hosed himself off, and grabbed the mystery key. He walked up to the brand new Bentley that was sitting in his driveway. Sure enough, the mystery key fit the ignition and he fired up the engine. Hanging from the rear-view mirror was a small note: "Welcome to the Bigs, Rookie." 557 words
  8. 1. B.O.B. by Outkast 2. I immediately run to the sideline and start hyping up the fans. 3. No - I can't see with that thing! 4. Probably my dad 5. The New York Jets. 6. I have a dog who we rescued a couple of years ago 7. Probably the dog from question #6 8. I heard a fan yell my address to me after I threw a pick. It was a little unsettling. 9. Gotta start by thanking all of my teammates 10. No one in particular, but I'm glad I jumped into it! 11. Curb Your Enthusiasm 12. I like to read
  9. The community! The folks here are fantastic and it makes this a joy to be a part of
  10. It started out as a normal Friday for EFL quarterback Dogwood Maple. He went to an early morning practice, worked out, and watched film, all before heading home for the evening. He was planning on just having a quiet night at home until he received a phone call from one of his college roommates asking if he wanted to grab dinner. Not wanting to pass up this opportunity on seeing a friend he hadn't seen in years, Maple jumped at the chance. "I knew it was a little bit different when I asked where to meet him and he just gave me an address. But this guy was always known as a bit of a prankster so I figured it would just be some random alley and he'd be there to jump out and scare me before heading to a restaurant downtown. That all changed when I pulled into the Eastern Wisconsin Regional Airport, which is where the address led," Maple explained. His roommate recently got his pilot's license and had planned for the pair to take a short flight to Chicago for dinner and to catch up on old times. "I was a little nervous because it was a small plane, but I knew he was responsible and had a bunch of flight hours logged," continued Maple. The first half hour of the flight was uneventful with the two talking about old times and discussing everything from airplanes to football. But all of the sudden, everything changed. Maple's friend (whose name we've redacted for privacy concerns) all of the sudden passed out and leaned forward on the yoke, taking the plane into a dive. Maple had taken a few hours of flying lessons in high school, but hadn't touched the controls of an aircraft since. "I knew enough to know that you always want to do three things in order: aviate, communicate, and navigate. So I knew I had to fly the plane first. I pulled him back off the yoke and made sure our wings were level and then I checked his pulse. It was there, but it was weak. He was sweating and didn't look good at all and I couldn't wake him up. I then squawked 7700 which tells everyone that I've got an emergency. And the only reason I knew that was because I've been watching some emergency flight documentaries lately, which was lucky." Maple was then able to contact the nearest control tower and let them know about the situation. Fortunately, one of the flight instructors in the tower had thousands of hours on this type of aircraft, so he was able to tell Maple exactly what to do. "I was terrified. But this guy knew everything. I mean it was like he was in there with us. He was telling me what to do without it sounding completely foreign. He explained where the gear was, where the flaps were, how to control the aircraft, how to slow down and speed up, all of that. He'd say 'flip the red switch that's two inches to the right of the radio' and stuff like that. He had spent so much time in this type of airplane that it was second nature to him," Maple said. When the tower eventually guided him to the Kenosha Airport, his friend began to slowly wake up but was still groggy. After letting Maple do a few practice runs where he would pass directly over the runway, the tower told Maple he could land whenever he was ready. "I thought there was no way I could get this plane on the ground. I was convinced we were going to crash. But somehow, that instructor and the controller got us down safely and we got [redacted] to a hospital ASAP. I'm just really, really thankful." The pilot of the aircraft is undergoing tests but is expected to make a full recovery. (650 words)
  11. +3 TPE - PC +3 TPE - QotW
  12. Yes! They're crucial to an offensive line's success in dominating the the opposition. Although I prefer waffles if we're talking about culinary stuff.
  13. 1. No. New York is a daggum runaway train. 2. Yes. I think New York's combination of additions and veterans is going to be too much to handle. 3. Honestly? I don't think so. Just too many holes for them. 4. I think we could have one of the top QBs going later in the draft just based on team needs. 5. I think it's a good change. Adds activity and helps competitive balance. 6. Yes, no doubt about it. 7. Most certainly. Folks want more positions than others. 8. My main goal is working on my accuracy and decision making. Gotta cut down on the picks. 9. As often as I can! 10. I honestly can't think of anything. I really enjoy it. 11. I'd build through the draft and try to add one main free agent every season to get us over the edge. 12. Nope. Minnesota too strong
  14. I gotta give a shoutout to numbers for all the help since I joined. Just a great user and has been a big part of my success so far! @124715
  15. 1. I think so, but I wouldn't bet on it. 2. I think the East is wide open next year...could be any number of teams. 3. I think the West is a little more settled, but still could go a number of different ways. 4. Yes...GMs love trading 5. I haven't really kept up with the FAs, so I don't have a good answer for this one. 6. Let's go with Michael Lunatia! 7. Trigger Colt. Just an incredible player 8. Yes. It would add s nice reward for players who made big jumps in the offseason 9. Isaac Martin II 10. Hopefully me! 11. I don't think so. We all love playing QB. 12. I think it can. A dominant running team can make major waves in the league
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