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Kayfabe

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Kayfabe last won the day on December 14 2019

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  1. Kayfabe

    S19 ECFA Week 8

    It's like my guys are contractually obligated to only have 1 good game at a time.
  2. Kayfabe

    S19 ECFA Week 7

    Walker-Santos tried.
  3. Quarterback Anchorage Storm, with some caveats Given that teams traditionally roster as few QBs as they can get away with this is really a position group in name only, so unlike most other categories we are going to spend some time talking about the also-rans. Statistically the candidates are Julian Falk way out in front followed by Handsome Jack, Ja Longarm and Cedric Evee. However, the eye test tells a different story: Falk is young and promising but rises above the competition mostly because he has a better set of wide outs to throw to than his competitors. Meanwhile Handsome Jack has excelled in an offense that requires him to play something of a "game manager" style while Longarm and Evee have impressed with their pure arm talent and physical maturity. Once Falk develops better mechanics and puts on some more strength in the weight room he will be the clear cut number 1, but until then things remain up in the air. Running Back Death Valley Rangers I respect the teams that have managed to put up higher overall yardage than Death Valley but honestly this one is not all that close. The Death Valley Rangers are so damn stacked at running back that they have McPoyle out there scampering around at wide receiver rather than toting the rock. Their commitment to a balanced offense may result in fewer rushing attempts but when they do run the lanes are open and Schitt Brickhouse and Smitty Copypasta have had little trouble leading the league in rushing touchdowns or yards per carry. Wide Receiver Anchorage Storm It is hard to tell what is more dangerous: the talent of McDolin and Walker-Santos or how beautifully they fit together. Walker-Santos is the biggest and fastest receiver in the EFCA and operates best as a classic split end that stretches the defense by going deep down after down. Meanwhile, McDolin is the perfect workhorse flanker--big and fast enough to go long but nimble and tough enough to operate in the slot and pick up yards after the catch. It is a formula as old as the passing game but there is a reason some classics never go out of style. Tight End Sacramento Venom Shout out to Jan Itor for being more than just an effective redzone target and hauling in a 65 yard catch, tied for 2nd longest reception in the league. Likewise Grand Rapid Growler Bronko Nagurski IV is both a reasonable receiver by tight end standards and a presence in the running game who picks up his share of pancakes as a blocker. Fullback Biscayne Bay Pirates Like with tight ends the full back position is often considered optional rather than a featured player but when well utilized they can help bring some extra toughness at the point of attack and provide an outlet receiver to quarterbacks that find themselves under heavy pressure. The BBP's Quentin Barnes fits that mold perfectly as he has 10 pancakes to his name and even managed to scamper his way to a 37 yard reception despite his limited number of targets this season.
  4. Kayfabe

    S19 ECFA Week 5

    Gotta love the long ball
  5. Kayfabe

    S19 ECFA Week 4

    Weird to see a near donut from steiner Walker-Santos still killing it though
  6. Kayfabe

    S19 ECFA Week 3

    that's some long completions
  7. Burning my free week.
  8. +9 Santos and Mecha-steiner Too bad I forgot to do at least one set of predictions, huh?
  9. Interviewer: What do you say to scouts who have expressed some skepticism that you are mature enough to successfully make the transition to the EFL? Walker-Santos: It is a good thing I do not let those haters make decisions for me. Look, it is really simple: We won the championship! I have accomplished everything I set out to do here, and if the scouts cannot see that, then that is on them. The bottom line here is that nobody has ever proven that the NCAA or even this new developmental league is really an ideal place to improve as an athlete. Scouts like it when guys stay in the minors because it gives them more time to evaluate us, not because it is in our best interest. If I blew out a knee tomorrow they would write down "Questionable durability" on my draft stock and never even blink. Interviewer: Are you concerned that me be viewed as disrespectful to the program that has helped develop you? Walker-Santos: Do you see them trying to stop me? Look, I have nothing but respect for the Ducks/Anchorage Storm. They are my teammates and they have supported me even when I wasn't making plays. They understand that I am moving onto the next level so that I don't stagnate mentally. Accepting new challenges rather than staying in your comfort zone can spur growth and I don't want to be one of those guys who picked up a career ending injury before ever getting a chance to find out if they could hang at the top level. Interviewer: What final puzzle pieces are you looking to add to your game before hitting the pros? Walker-Santos: First off, I have to give all the credit in the world to the coaching and medical staff here for helping me enter the season as the fastest man in the EFCA. So from here on out we are looking to work on my fundamentals and balance so that momentum does not interfere with staying in bounds or hauling in a tough catch. Not that it matters, since apparently we are a west coast offense now and every target will go to McDolin, forever.
  10. Interviewer: What prompted the decision to declare for the EFL draft rather than stay on for a 4th season of developmental ball? Engineer: Personally, I have really been second guessing the decision since I still feel we have plenty of bugs to work out of his system. Unfortunately the suits upstairs apparently filled out the paper work and arranged for this interview before consulting me. Given that Mecha Steiner remains under my full control they did not live to regret that decision for very long. They should have understood that marketing peons will not be missed; as long as the Rangers' defense keeps racking up fantasy points Mecha Steiner will be fully capable of endorsing products unaided. Trust me: designing a robot with more personality than Aaron Rodgers just isn't hard. Interviewer: Do you feel you'll be able to address these "bugs" before Mecha Steiner makes the EFL? Engineer: It'll be nip and tuck but given he's already operating at parameters comparable to high end EFCA talent we are confident that whatever team drafts him will be happy with his performance. In terms of raw speed and power he is already an excellent football player so for now we are focusing on the careful balancing act between pulverizing ball carriers and avoiding costly penalties. Worst case scenario he keeps hurting people and we eventually we are forced to take our talents to the XFL instead. Interviewer: Were there any big regrets or happy surprises that really stood out to you over Mecha Steiner's time with the program? Engineer: We still mourn the NCAA given that they always treated us well and their virtually non-existent ethical standards gave us free rein to really push the envelope with the more controversial elements of Steiner's design. I would not call the move to the EFCA truly regrettable regret though, as it came with new advantages and challenges of its own. For example, we'd been experimenting with using machine learning to teach Mecha Steiner how to distinguish teammates from opponents and the switch to a new look was a fun new variable to throw into the mix and I am pleased to report that casualties were kept within acceptable standards.
  11. Tier 1: Contenders Manchester Lookout. These guys have absolutely dismantled the two opponents they have faced so far and in terms of top end talent there is a lot to like. Jimothy Johnson, Dale Cooper, and Cedrik Evee is a quality offensive trio and thanks to PalpaTurner and Shox they have two bonafide defensive stalwarts. The only problem I see here is a slight lack of depth; they don't quite have stars at all 3 levels of the defense and unless you count tight end Trip Tyson they lack a true number 2 wide receiver. Death Valley Rangers. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. Sure, this organization didn't win the championship last season, but they came mighty close and the institutional knowledge remains unquestioned. Their talent pool isn't exactly barren, either. McPoyle is possibly the best player in the league while Longarm remains a very solid quarterback. Perhaps more importantly they have admirable depth on defensive side of the ball, with Mecha Steiner anchoring a rapidly improving linebacker corp and reliable defensive backs in Aardvark and Levine. Roswell Encounter Another wonderfully deep squad! Still, for my money what sets Roswell apart is their defensive backfield. They're perhaps the only squad in the league that could comfortably stretch out to dime packages. With that said, it's a dubious strength because despite the number of quality passers in the league there are relatively few teams set up to play a spread offense this season. Tier 2: The Dark Horse Hades Creek Phalanx These guys have an argument for being tier 1 and while they have already lost a game there isn't really any shame to losing to the Rangers by a single field goal. Still, I think tier 2 is justifiable when you consider that their squad is loaded with talent but suffers from some redundancy. Basically, the Phalanx have a top flight linebacker corps and some interesting targets for Handsome Jack to throw to but their defensive backfield isn't lights out and their running game is a smidge suspect. Tier 3: Talented But Fatally Flawed Anchorage Storm The Storm have some impressive wide receivers on roster but are imbalanced and lacking in depth thanks to the mass exodus of talent to the EFL Luckily the fans still have their championship banners to keep them warm and McDolin and Walker-Santos will be fun to watch, at least. Lincoln Mammoths It's ironic that they're elephants because these guys won't be running on anyone. Like the Storm these guys will live or die by their success through the air and while they'll put up an impressive showing at times I wouldn't expect them to be real title threats. Sacramento Venom They're better than their 0-2 record indicates, since both losses were extremely close. They have the beginnings of a nice offense in place but the defense is still too young to compete this season, particularly in the defensive backfield. Trenton Generals You'd have a really nice squad if you mashed these guys together with the Venom. They have a great safety in Mizzed Tackle and Calvin Zeus is a competent running back despite some work ethic concerns but otherwise they are too young to compete in the short term. Tier 4: Looking To Next Year Biscayne Bay Pirates They're basically two good ball carriers and a linebacker. They'll play a bunch of close games that they'll almost definitely lose. They would have been terrifying in 1905. Athens Carnage They beat the Venom by a point, so they've got that going for 'em, which is nice. Grand Rapids Growlers I could go for a growler right now, tbh. I'd need to down at least 2 before I would be willing to bet the over on these guys. Savage City Wraiths I haven't seen it yet but I'm assuming their logo looks as dead as their title hopes.
  12. User: Kayfabe QB: Gavin Rose $7 RB: Reginald Sharkstrong $4 WR: Tyson Kelly $3 WR: Ivan Zamora Jr. $2 WR: Harry King Jr. $6 FLEX:Kip Silver $3 TE: Himalaya Griffintown $2 K: Cody Smith $1 DST: New York $2
  13. Guess who I am rooting for
  14. EFL Predictions Champion: Wisconsin East Finalist: (New York, Miami, Memphis, Wisconsin): Wisconsin West Finalist: (Los Angeles, Seattle, San Antonio, New Orleans): San Antonio MVP: Gavin Rose Offensive Player of the Year: Gavin Rose Defensive Player of the Year: Dee Fence GMotY: Jetsqb101 QBotY: Gavin Rose RBotY: Duke Starscream FBotY: Thormund Jakobsen WRotY: Patrick Kelley TEotY: Matt Saracen LBoftY: Clint Bobsky CBotY: Dee Fence SotY: Hyphen Boxcar-Jones KoftY: Diana Gunner Returner of the Year: Duke Starscream Offensive Rookie of the Year: Ivan Zamora Jr Defensive Rookie of the Year: Gezan Banff ECFA Predictions Champion: Death Valley Heroes Finalist: Roswell Legends Finalist: Death Valley Heisman Trophy - MVP: Dale Cooper Chuck Bednarik Award - Defensive Player OTY: Emperor PalpaTurner Tim Tebow Award - Offensive Player OTY: Dale Cooper Lance Swift IV Award - Top Offensive Freshman: Booker Thomas Shaka Lawal Award - Top Defensive Freshman: Mark Hendrix Davey O'Brien Award - QB: Jack Handsome Doak Walker Award - RB: Apollo Cross Biletnikoff Award - WR: Patrick Kelley John Mackey Award - TE: Ay Pee E Dick Butkus Award - LB: Emperor PalpaTurner Jim Thorpe Award - DB: Lou Shox Groza Guy Award - K/P: Kicker McKicking Dante Pettis Award-K/P Returner: Henry McDolin Wuerffel Trophy - Community Service: McWolf Coach of the Year Award - AD: Sharkstrong
  15. bumping to accept rangers and storm signings just in case there was any question
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