UZI®

I might just do a ranking of corn.

It's beautiful.

EFLGossip.com recently sat down with Carnage LB and recently confirmed EFL Draftee, Jedi Battlesmoke. We asked him a series of questions to find out more about this young man and an edited excerpt is posted below for those that may be interested. If not, we suggest printing it out and using it for emergency toilet paper instead. EFLG.com : Good Morning Jedi and thanks for your time today. We know it's a busy day. JB : Sure, sure, it's no problem. You're saving me from some sprint training anyway, so I'm happy for the small break! EFLG.com : You recently declared for the draft. Do you feel that you are ready, considering the small sample size that EFL teams have seen? JB : Well, I'm physically and mentally ready for the jump to the pros, and frankly, I have a full season as a starting linebacker for the defending ECFA Champions, to showcase my talents. I've heard that most EFL teams don't even bother scouting until the night before the draft anyway, so I doubt they will be looking back to last season for talent evaluation. EFLG.com : Good point there Jedi. On a related topic, do you have any preferences yet as to where you want to go? JB : No, I am happy to leave that to the respective teams. I'm sure that if they have a need for a LB and see my name there on the draft board, they'll do the right thing for their franchise. EFLG.com : Looking back to last season, why did you only appear in 4 games? Disciplinary issues perhaps? JB : What are you implying? The decision was made for me to learn from the teams starters, as there was no way in hell that I was breaking into the lineup anyway. I tried to learn every aspect of the teams structures, playbooks and philosophies in order to be ready for THIS season where I think my participation will really matter. Disciplinary issues. Please man, I'm a damn saint. EFLG.com : Apologies for the presumption. Moving on, how have you found the Athens AD and associated staff? JB : Honestly, they have been terrific. They have shown patience and helped me to be ready for this season, and I intend to repay their faith in me by playing hard, fast and damaging for the Carnage this season. I'd never intentionally hurt a rival, but I do suggest that the opposition teams have their medical insurance premiums paid for this season. I keep splitting open the tackle bags in training, so I can't be held responsible for what might happen to a human body. EFLG.com : Well, ummm, OK. That sounded like a threat, so we might wrap it up here. Again, thanks for your time and sincerely, all the best for the upcoming season and later on for the draft. JB : Absolutely my pleasure and you're more then welcome to come back after the draft for a follow-up. I appreciated the chance to chat. *Interviewers note : We may have misconstrued Jedi's comments about hurting people as a threat. That was our mistake, as Jedi made sure to impress upon me as he walked to my car. He totally didn't intimidate me. 500+

It's a beautiful day here in Athens Georgia, as I sit here in the shade of a pecan tree outside of the Carnage Training facility. It's somewhat of a surprise that I know where the building is to be honest, as I didn't use the facilities for the entirety of last season. Nope, not one training session, burpee or sprint was undertaken, yet somehow I wasn't cut or told to "F*ck Off" by staff or fellow players. Amazing. They have shown more patience then most people would, and for that I will be eternally grateful. Of course the season culminated in a Championship for the Carnage, and after playing in four games and amassing the enviable stat-line of 4 Tackles and 1 Tackle for Loss, I think I'm ready to head to the big time of the EFL. That's right ECFA fans, this will be my final season for the Athens Carnage, and I've decided that I'll go all-out for the team as I prepare for the draft. Unlike last season, I'll attend every training, team meeting or other event, whether voluntary or mandatory as I commit to repaying the team for carrying me to a title, as well as wow the scouts as they start preparing their draft boards for the next EFL Draft. The hard work has already started to pay off, with a strong off-season program and advice from established stars of the Athens program. I'm fast, strong, agile and ready to start climbing the draft boards of multiple EFL franchises. I'm ready. Obviously my Agent Uzi Thundakowski has been around the EFL for a while now, managing several players who have had varying degrees of success. He knows what it takes to play at the highest level, so I hope he can once again work his magic and get me to the right fit, in the right team come draft day. I've see other players that have declared for the draft, list preferred destinations or GM's they want to play for. While that's great and could even help teams prepare for the draft, I don't want to limit myself to certain franchises. Scouts should know what I can bring by now, so if they are in need of a dynamic young playmaker at Linebacker, and see me on the board and available to them, I'd strongly suggest they pull the trigger and secure a long term piece for their title chase. 405

But I did it so professionally!

There is no doubt that the highlight of my entire EFL career/time has been Battlesmoke being carried to an ECFA title with Athens, while not applying a single TPE.

Rigged

Yes please.

SBA Affiliate Brand +3 QOTW +3

I'm not 100% sure tbh, but there's quality players that might be considered. Snicket, Olaf, Fourside etc are all players that have had great careers and still another season to garnish stats and therefore votes.

Athens will be fine.