McWolf

Bones hates salad

Bones says yes

Come to Canada

This season marks the end of an era for me. My first two players are nearing the end of the road. Pharaoh Aardvark has maybe one or two more seasons in him and Himalaya Griffintown, well he probably has more than because I intend on him playing as long as humanly possible, but with his banked TPE getting depleted so fast, it might not be that long before he's forced to hang his cleats - and asked to mail them to Canton. A couple weeks ago - and as a total mistake - I created a filler, my fourth one, but unlike Nene Ka'i Kai, Butcher Pete and Kilimandjaro Thunderbird before her, she's meant to be much more than that. In fact, the cute bruising LB Bones Kentucky will replace Aardvark as my defensive player when I decide it's time for him to say goodbye. I had decided on that name a long long time ago, it stuck with me for over a full year now, and now it's finally becoming a reality. As for the position, I have no idea why I created her as a LB, other than the fact that my previous player was a defensive back and I wanted to try something else. We'll see how her career unfolds. So, a couple of seasons down the road, Aardvark will retire, and Griffintown will eventually follow suite. Unlike on defense, where you have an illusion of a choice when it comes to picking a position - you're essentially choosing if you want to be a LB or a DB and even then, there's some overlap - offense lets you pick between five very distinct positions and they all got their pros and cons, when it comes to sticking to them for a full career. My recreate after Griffintown will most likely be named Amelia Michigan, a name I picked around the same time I picked Bones Kentucky - fitting, right? But when it comes down to the position, here's where my mind is at right now. 5. Full back / Tight end I'm not down for another 15-season career. 4. Kicker It just looks so boring. 3. Quarterback Alright, now the ranking actually starts. For the longest time, I thought my recreate would be a QB, 100%. But seeing how so many people have recently recreated as QBs - even some members whose previous players were quarterbacks - I'm not sure this is the play for me anymore. The problem here isn't that I don't want to have competition, more that I don't want to spend one or two seasons out of 6 before regression starts stuck behind another QB on a team's depth chart. We'll see what the QB picture looks like when we get there, but I'm not at 100% on it as much as I was like 10 seasons ago. 2. Running back Running backs have kind of the same problems that quarterbacks have, in that you really only need one per team. You could have more than that, but at the end of the day, you don't need to run a committee. That makes creating as a running back scary, you don't want to be on the outside looking in, you don't want to be stuck as a backup. At least, you have the opportunity to double down as a wide receiver early on in your career, depending on weight and stuff. But then you're splitting your career in two, getting some seasons as a ball-carrier, some seasons as a receiver and when all is said and then, your resume is a mess and there's no way you make it into the Hall of Fame. That, and I mean, have you seen how pass-heavy teams are now? Being the main running back on a run-heavy team sounds would be a dream, but there's no team that's going to commit to that for your whole career (if one wants to commit to that with me, call me.) 1. Wide receiver The more I think about it, the more I think this is the play. Sure, at first, I'd probably be a team's third WR, but as time goes, I'd become a top option on what will most likely be a very pass-heavy - because like 11.5 out of 12 teams right now are pass heavy, so yeah, odds are it's gonna be the case. QB, RB and WR all have one thing in common too: shorter careers. The long career and lack of popularity of the TEs is kind of what drove me there at first. I didn't know how active I'd be so I just wanted to be sure there'd be a spot for me on a team even if I ended up not going all-in. But going all-in for a while (and inactive for like 3 seasons, but we don't talk about that) made it so Griffintown is not going down anytime soon. There's a part of me that wants to kill him early and move on, but there's another part that realize I have a unique opportunity to really really push a couple of records out of reach. So I'm probably going to stick around with him, to push these records and keep them for myself forever, and then I'll be happy to have a regular, short seven-season career as a wide receiver (or a running back, call me run-heavy coaches.)

WISCONSIN

can we have an expansion team with all these guys?

VHL +1 SBA +1

Hello, I have no idea what to write about, so let's just spam 200 words about Bones, my soon-to-be defensive recreate. - Bones Kentucky's actual given name is Morena. She earned the Bones nickname from her high school football coach, after she broke a teammate's arm with a thunderous hit in the first day of training camp. Don't let her cute appearance fool you. - Kentucky isn't her birth last name, but records have been lost and no one really know who her family is or what her last name actually is. She's been going by either Morena or Bones Kentucky for the better part of her life. - Kentucky has played football with boys all her youth, and didn't let it bother her. She might be smaller than the average player, but she hits like a truck anyway. - After receiving a couple of offers from different ECFA teams, Kentucky elected to begin her EFL/ECFA journey with the Death Valley Rangers. - In high school, Kentucky also played running back, but she truly excelled at the linebacker position, which is what prompted her to pursue a defensive career. Have fun digging up the actual important announcement from this bunch of useless facts about a filler. Good season, everyone.

VHL SBA

Entering this season, long-time Toronto Skyhawks tight end Himalaya Griffintown had 396 career pancakes, placing him second all-time, behind only Thormund Jakobsen. In his career, the Scandinavian full back had amassed 422 total pancakes, meaning Griffintown only needed to take down opponent defenders on 24 occasions this season to break the league record and add to his legacy. And here we are, 14 games into the season. We’re a little bit late on the news, as the Los Angeles Reign draftee has not only beaten Jakobsen’s mark, but he added 12 more pancakes for safe measure, pushing his career total to an all-time high 433. Journalists and fans even started calling him the Pancake King What’s next for the veteran tight end? Despite the fact that he’s now finishing his eleventh pro season, he has yet to show signs of it. He’s playing at the same level he has most of his career, which explains how he’s been able to achieve this record. Maintaining a high standard of performances over a whole decade even puts the Anchorage Storm-alumnus on pace to break the all-time record in receptions. He was only the third player in league history to secure his 1000th catch, earlier this season, joining the exclusive group of Calle Colt and Stephen Loth, and he’s now sitting at the second position with 1,060, a mere 19 receptions behind Colt.

oilmanbabies! Congrats man

yiss

can you do a good death metal growl, @TacticalHammer?

two good hires, I like it