rory

Rangers 21-17

What a brutal couple of weeks for Muhammad and the Roswell Encounter. We've been putting in work every week but sometimes the results just don't show on the field. It's one of the things I like about American football, ultimately the team that's better on paper can do poorly and be outworked by the team that has been grinding out and earning their points during games. I guess with this being my uncapped season and trying to get drafted decently high, I'll put some points into hands so I can actually catch shit instead of running real fast away from the quarterback and hoping he throws it into the basket. How has Mr. Mukhamadullin reacted from being on the dominant Generals to the floundering Encounter? Pretty well. Being from the brutal Russian steppe, Muhammad's time in the New Mexico sunshine has allowed him to blossom into a much more social player, participating in more team charity opportunities then he did in Trenton, Ontario. He said this during an Encounter event at a University of New Mexico: "It is important for me to talk to the people who support me. I love the fans in Roswell and I want to give back to them." The Encounter's seasons continues on, with Mukhamadullin being one of the top contenders for the ECFA's wide receiver of the year.

All-Star wide receiver Muhammad Mukhamadullin has finally decided to talk to the media after 2 seasons on the Trenton Generals. His recent transfer to the Roswell Encounter has cause quite a stir within the media and so, through a translator, the team has decided to put him to the test. Interviewer: "So Muhammad, what makes you stand out to the rest of the competition in the ECFA?" He stirs for a bit, before whispering into his interpreter's ear. Interpreter: "He says that because he runs fast, he can simply out run all of the defense's players, and catch the handegg to win." The media room seems a little stunned by this response. For his first public comment, is calling the sacred United States sport "handegg" going to win him the fans of the American public? The camera feed cuts to a live feed of fans in his hometown, Kazan, cheering very loudly about this comment. In fact, they are becoming violent. A riot has broken out in downtown Kazan! The people are in a frenzy! Only two word echoes through the streets - handegg. The camera abruptly cuts back to the media room. Nobody knows what to do. Muhammad takes a sip out his paper cup, before getting up and leaving. The interpreter is crying, frantically calling family members to check in on their safety as he runs out. Even through the muffled sounds of his cell phone, the frantic cries can be heard. Handegg. Handegg. Handegg. Handegg. Handegg. Handegg. Handegg. Handegg. Handegg. Handegg. Handegg. Handegg.

approval

alright well if you want anything from me, feel free to message me on discord. We share enough servers

U trynna make a story out of nothing orrr

yeah I also have messenger disabled and am not in the discord so I don't blame them

NO OTHER ADs REACHED OUT. I AM CRYING NOW. I CHOOSE ROSWELL AS MY TRANSFER DESTINATION AGAIN

I HAVE SELECTED ROSWELL AS MY TRANSFER DESTINATION

I DECLARE I WISH TO TRANSFER!

eggcept hahahhahaha

1. Would you ever get a cybernetic body part to improve your performance out on the field ? Yeah cybernetic brain so that after I get an inevitable career ending, life ruining head injury I can still lift a fork without assistance. 2. Do you think there would be more or less issues between humans if we discovered aliens? Yeah once people realize that theirs things even MORE different then each other hopefully humanity can come together and stop being afraid of different skin colour or sexual organs 3. Do you think the EFL would let non humanoid life forms grace its hockey arenas? I don't think the EFL has any hockey arenas but I definitely think team owners would throw a bag at a dog wide receiver or bear line backer. 4. Would you ever throw a game for money? Absolutely, in a heart beat. Y'all ain't paying me nothin and expect me to not chase the bag? Shaking my head. 5. Do you think we take enough pride in representing our teams here in the EFL? No! In the VHL their is a secret Moscow Menace cult that is weaving it's web in the underlings of the league. Too dangerous! 6. Do you think football would be cooler in space? Isn't like half the gimmick of handegg the effect gravity has on things? 7. What is one thing you would change about football to make it an Intergalactic sport? Man handegg can't even leave AMERICA and you talking intergalactic? Get real! 8. Fill in this blank: I do it for the ____________? (Money, fame, Glory, to see the tears of my enemies?) fans! So many young people coming up to me and saying "Mukhamadullin, how can I throw football good like you?" and I don't reply because my English isn't good without my translator. 9. What is the one Ace up your sleeve you always save when your team needs a miracle? I run real fast. 10. Are you happy with the type of player you are becoming? Oh yeah I run REAL fast. 11. Can insanity bring about more creativity? I'm personally not a huge fan of the word "insane" because of the implications and stigma it has against people suffering from mental health issues, so I will pass on this question. 12. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? You have answered your own question here in my opinion. Success and failure is relative to the persons personal goals and so if I am trying to "fail" when does the line become blurred enough? 13. At what point are we good enough? WE WIN PROMOTION TO THE MAJORS BABY NO STOPPING THE TRENTON, ONTARIO HYPE TRAIN

I ACCEPT!!

Trenton Minnesota