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Phil Kessel and King Leonidas Player Brand


thadthrasher
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Kessel Packs His Bags

 

Over the last few days Phil Kessel, a linebacker in the Elite Football League, has been posting cryptic images and statements on Twitter. The first Tweet simply said, “I finally bought some new bags.” Of course, no one knew what he meant by this. Could he really have simply meant that he actually bought new bags? If so, who would care enough?

 

Well, then a few days later Kessel shared an image of the bags on the ground with an EFL-style jersey sticking out, with his old jersey for the Kraken sticking out of a trash can in the background. Of course, speculations came about and people began responding, “Wait, what’s happening? Are you leaving? Who are you going to play for?” Some fans even thought the new jersey was actually a hockey sweater and that Kessel was making a return to the NHL.

 

However, it finally came to light that Kessel’s team, whom he had been unhappy with, was folding. He was on a list to be dispersed and he found himself being picked up by the Seattle Predators. Kessel broke the news on Twitter with an image of him in a Predators jersey and, of course, a hot dog in hand.

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Leonidas On Kicking Balls

 

King Leonidas, arguably one of the best kickers the EFL has ever seen, did not always want to kick balls. In fact, when he was a child his only dream was to die on the battle field as a Spartan, much like his father. As a small child in Greece, Leonidas had to endure harsh weather, harsh conditions, and the constant threat of death by either wild animals or ravaging armies and bandits. His childhood was one of survival, of overcoming the odds, and of learning how to lead. Then, the unthinkable happened. He was thrown off a cliff by Xerxes and woke up in the 21st century.

 

After Leonidas explained this for the 300th time, and still people don't believe him, he was asked, "Why are you a kicker?" 

 

"I never really wanted to do this. My coach basically saw me punt a kids head in while in class and he made sure I found my way onto the field. I would love a position where I got to hit more people, of course, but I am good at what I do, and it's helped me along, so I'm not upset or sad to be here. I think I'll end up kicking balls for the rest of my career. Once I'm done I hope to return to Greece to lead an army again. I need to find Xerxes descendants and show them who the real winner is."

 

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Kessel Starts Streaming Career

Well, everyone else is doing it. Phil Kessel, the newest player for the Seattle Predators is finding himself pulled in the direction of streaming. At first it was just a few minutes each day of Kessel saying hello to his fans and supporters. Then, after a few suggestions, Kessel started streaming himself eating hot dogs, and then cooking food. Now, because he's trying to watch his weight he's decided to move away from the food streaming and toward something else.

 

Kessel has now started streaming himself playing video games. Wow, how original! Recently, he's found himself playing Elden Ring. Of course, he dies rather quickly and people seem to really like watching him get overly frustrated whenever he dies. But, at the end of the day, fans are feeling closer to one of their favorite players and he's bringing some good attention to the currently 0-3 Predators. While Kessel may be frustrated by the enemies in Elden Ring, nothing compares to his frustration with his team's performance. He's hopeful though that things will turn around and that the team can start performing at its max potential. But, at the end of the day, if football doesn't work out, Kessel will have a solid streaming career. Alongside competative hot dog eating, of course.

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