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Maple Gets Surprise of a Lifetime


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Shortly after practice on Friday, Dogwood Maple was walking to his car when he was very clearly reminded that he was a rookie.  His normally black Toyota Corolla was now black and white, thanks to soap suds that had started to pour through the door cracks and windows.  When he opened the driver's side door, things got much worse.


"So I see from a distance that there's something on my car, but it wasn't until I got closer did I realize that they filled that thing up with soap.  That was bad enough, but when I opened the front door, a thick wave of wet popcorn came avalanching out of my car.  In the backseat, I found about a million packing peanuts, and the glove box and center console were filled with Cinnamon Toast Crunch.  Don't get me wrong, that's clearly the best cereal, but I'm not a fan of it in my car," said Maple.  

To make matters worse, Maple noticed an aroma coming from the trunk.  He knew something was fishy.


"I initially didn't smell it because the soap and popcorn were just overpowering, but once I walked around the back of the car, I definitely got a whiff.  It smelled like somebody put a dozen dead fish in my trunk.  And why don't you guess what I found in there?  You got it.  12 dead fish.  At least they were sitting on newspaper," Maple laughed.

Luckily, Maple took it all in stride.


"I just thought it was the veterans giving me a hard time and messing with my car.  I told them that my signing bonus just hit my bank so I was planning on getting rid of that Corolla anyways, so I didn't get too upset.  I knew that I was a prime target for the veterans to mess with, so it is what it is.  But that was just the start..."


When Maple found the dead fish that had been sitting in his hot car all day, all five of his offensive linemen jumped out from hiding places and surprised him.  Their response was surprising.


"They just kept telling me that there was a gift inside one of the fish.  I thought they were joking.  But they were insistent.  They just kept saying to find the gift and to drive home," Maple said.


So Maple, a true glutton for punishment, started tearing through the fish with his bare hands, convinced that they were continuing to mess with him.  After nine fish, he had found nothing.  He was about to give up, when the 10th fish bore a present.  A small key. It looked like a car key, but Maple didn't recognize it.  He kept his word and got inside the soap-popcorn-Cinnamon Toast Crunch-fish filled car and started the journey home.


By the time he made it to his house, his clothes were ruined, he was soaking wet, and he smelled awful.  But waiting for him in his driveway was something that made it all better.

Maple parked his car, raced inside and hosed himself off, and grabbed the mystery key. He walked up to the brand new Bentley that was sitting in his driveway.  Sure enough, the mystery key fit the ignition and he fired up the engine.  Hanging from the rear-view mirror was a small note:


"Welcome to the Bigs, Rookie."


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